Ishq sabhiko

1.
Ishq sabhiko jina sikha deta hai,
Wafa ke naam par marna sikha deta hai.

Ishq nahi kiya to karke dekho,
Jalim har dard sehna sikha deta hai

2.

Uski doli ke bhi 4 kinare honge,
Meri arthi ke bhi 4 kinare honge,

Phool us par bhi barsenge,
Phool mujh par bhi barsenge,

Log uske liye bhi royenge,
Log mere liye bhi royenge,

Bus fark itne hoga...
Uska kisi ko intzar hoga...
Aur hamara antim sanskar hoga....

3.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN YOU HAVE STOP LOVING SOME ONE

NOT BECAUSE YOU STARTING HATING THEM,

BUT BECAUSE YOU REALISED THAT THEY WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER

IF YOU LET THEM GO.

4.
Aye mohabbat tere anjaam pe rona aaya
Jaane kyon aaj tere naam pe rona aaya

Yun to har sham umedon mein guzar jaati hai
Aaj kuch baat hai jo is sham pe rona aaya

kuchh beete hue lamho

1.
kuchh beete hue lamho se mulakat hui
kuchh tute hue sapno se baat hui
yaad jo karne baithe un tamam yado ko
to apki hi yaado se shuruat hui


2.
Wo yaro ki mehfil, wo muskurate pal,
Dil se juda hai apna bita hua Kal,
Kabhi jindagi guzjarti thi Waqt bitane me,
Aaj waqt guzar jata hai chand kagaj ke note kamane me..



3.

Dua karte hai hum sar jhuka kar a dost tu manjil ko paye
kabhi teri raho me andhera aaye to roshni ke liye khuda hame jalaye


4.
Khushnaseeb hai aap, jo hum aapki dosti ko itna sidat se chahate hai,

Varna hum vo sakhs hai, jo khwabo me bhi appointment se aate hai...

Largest retailer

1.
A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WALMART!

Why WALMART???

<>HELLOOOOOOOOO!

WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!!


2.
Flowers die..........,
Stories end......... .,

Songs fade........ ..,
Memories are forgotten... .,

All things come to an end,
But people like you,

Always remain forever,
B'cozzzzzzzzzzzz..... ...

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

GHOSTs NEVER DIE......!!! !

Hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!


3.
Sardar ji says I love u to his girl friend and suddenly falls on the floor.

Girl Friend: What is this?

Sardarji: O ji, I'm falling in love!

4.

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast

Yahan to gham bhi

1.
Dar dar bhatakte hai arman ki tarha,
Har koi milta hai anjaan ki tarha,
Iss duniya se khushi ki aas kya rakhna,
Yahan to gham bhi dete hai ehsaan ki tarha,

2.
Us ko mera halka sa ehsaas to hai
Be-dard sahi woh meri humraaz to hai

Woh aaye na aaye mere paas lekin
Shiddat se mujhe uska intezar to hai

Abhi nahi to kya hua mil hi jaayegi kabhi
Mere dil mein us se milan ki aas to hai

Pyaar ki gawahi mere aansuon se na maang
Barasti nahi aankhen magar dil udaas to hai…

3.
Kisi dard ko sambhal pana asan nhi ,
Haste hue har pal bitana asan nahi ,

Zindagi mein har koi dil mein bas nahi pata ,
Aur us base hue 1 ko bhul pana asan nahi.

4.
Bahut udas hai koi tere jane se.
Ho sake to laut aa kisi bahane se.
Tu lakh khafa sahi magar ek baar to dekh ,
Koi toot gaya hai TERE rooth jane se...

Kiss kisi ki

1.
Kiss kisi ki mahphil me,
Kiss kisi ne kiss kiss ko kiss kiya.
Ek hum they jisne her miss ko kiss kiya,
Aur ek aap they jisne har kiss ko miss kiya.

2.
Ur the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind.
I wish I could start my day with U in my bed.

I just luv Ur feel to my lips. U just make my day.
I love U NESCAFE!


3.
Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike.. Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi.. Yeh Dil Maange More

But Kiss is like Pan Parag.. Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga

4
Main tod leta agar tu GULAB hoti,
Main jawab banta agar tu SAWAL hoti,

Sab jante hai main nasha nahi karta
Phir bhi pi leta agar tu SHARAB hoti

No matter

1.
No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,

I just want to tell YOU….

They're none of YOUR BUSINESS

2.

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",

Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"

WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!


3.
Aap itrate bahut ho
Dil ko behlate bahut ho

Sochte hai aap ko DINNER par le jaaye
Par kya kare ZALIM tum khate bahut ho.



4.
Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,

Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
Aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

SULAGTA hua JISM

Yeh tumhara SULAGTA hua JISM ...
KAPKAPATAY HONT....
LARKHARATI AAWAZ...
THARTHARATA BADAN ...
Mujhe pehle se shuq tha ke tumhain
MALARIA HAI.....


Yaad hai hum pehli baar kahan miley they...
Train ruki.......
Khidki khuli.......
Nazron se nazren mili.........
Aur app ne kaha..........
Allah ke naam pe dede BABA:-D


Dia hai upper waley ne mobile
To itnee to kadar kia kero karo
Na karo call per her roz
Do char sms to kia kero


Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!..

Ek lamhe me unhone

1.
Ek lamhe me unhone hamari jindagi sawar di,
Ek lamhe me unhone hamari jindagi ujaad di,
Kasur unka nahi hamara tha,
Un do lamho me humne sari jindagi gujaar di.

2.
Rah Rah kar teri yaad aaye to kya karun?
Yaad teri dil se na jaye to kya karu?
Sochata hu ki hogi mulakat khwabo me,
Lekin kambakhat nind he naa aaye to kya karu?

3.
Aap paas raho ya dur
hum dil se dil ki awaj mila sakate hai,
Na sms ke na khat ke mauthaj hai hum
Per aap ke dil ko ek hichaki se hila sakate hai.

4.
Waqt ki dhup ho ya barish,
kuch kadamo ke nishan kahin nahi hote.
jinhe yad karke khush hoti hai ankhen,
wo log dur hote hue bhi door nahi hote.

Dil mein tumhari apni

1.
Dil mein tumhari apni kami chod jayenge,
Aankhon mein intezar ki lakir chod jayenge,
Yaad rakhna dhundte rahooge humhe,
pyar ki aisi kahani chod jayenge.

2.

GHAM KO BECHKAR KHUSHI KHAREED LENGE.
KHWAB BECHKAR ZINDAGI KHAREED LENGE.
HOGA IMTIHAAN TO DEKHE GI DUNIYA.
KHUD KO BECH KAR AAP KI KHUSHI KHAREED LENGE.

3.

chidiya ko dekha to mann gud gudaya
apne azaad hone ka khyal mann ko bhaya
kyu na mein b par faila kar udd jau kahin door
fir achanak hi khud ko rishto me bandha hua paya

4
Unki yaad aaye toh dil kya kare,
Yaad dil se na jaye toh dil kya kare,
Socha tha sapno me mulaqath hogi magar,
Neend hi na aaye toh dil kya kare.

Heart Can Skip

1.
Heart Can Skip Beats 4 a While
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...
Nothing can stop a smile when ur name appears on my mobile.

2.
My eyes reacted
My mind was attracted,
My heart was affected,
Thousands were rejected,
But u alone were selected !!

3.
Measured by miles you are far from me.
Measured by thoughts you are closer to me.

Measured by closed eyes you are with me.
Measured by Heart you are in me...forever..

VEHAM

1.
Teacher : Sach aur Veham main kya farak hai?

Boy : Aap hum ko padha rahi hain ye SACH hai. Aur hum padh rahe hain ye aap ka VEHAM hai.


2.
Teri pyaari surat pe dil harun,
Teri har jaroorat pe jaan varun,

Jab bhi sochoon teri harkatoon ke bare mein toh,
Dil kare tere kaan ke neeche do marun.


3.
Mashooka: lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho toh.

Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyu na usey wahin rahney diya jaye, agar main tumhare aankho mein doobonga to sahara dega.


4.
Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta?

Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?

Chubby Cheeks

1.
Chubby Cheeks,
Dimple Chin,
Browny Lips,
Tiny eyes &
Rosy Tongue
Actually I ws pointing out d similarities b/w U & vodafone dog.
it's gr8!
Are u twins?

2.
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it`s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain ?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"

3.
Lalu has just removed two front wheels from his TATA Nano alongside road curb.

Parking Cop came and asked Lalu, "What is going on?"

Lalu said, "Go away, don't you see parking sign, it says Parking for Two Wheelers only."

Lawyer's fees

1.
A new client meets a famous lawyer.

Client: Can you tell me how much do you charge?
Lawyer: I charge $200 to answer three questions!

Client: Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?
Lawyer: Yes it is, and what's your third question?


2.

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me ... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me ... I must be a god!



3.
A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.

4.
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

PREGNENT GIRL FRIEND

1.
PREGNENT GIRL FRIEND AUR JALE HUE TOAST KO DEKH KAR AAP KYA SOCHTE HAINN ?



?
?
?



KAASH EK MINUTE PAHLE NIKAL LIYA HOTA!!



...................................................


2.
5 ChineseChuBuHuFu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .
In order to get a visathey had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
Hu became Huck
*
*
*
*
*
Fu and Su decided to stay in China



3.
Here's a story of a man & three women. One (a prostitute)one (a mistress)and one (a wife).



When he makes love to the firstshe thinks"Just hurry up and finish."
The second one thinks"Just relax slow down and make this last longer."
The third one lays there and thinks"I'd think we should paint the ceiling Beige."

Na gulfam chaiye na salam

1.
Na gulfam chaiye na salam chaiye
Na mubarak ka paigham chaiye
Jisko pee kar hosh ud jaye
Labo ko aisa jaam chaiye


2.
Zinda hai shahjahan ki chahat ab tak,
Gawah hai mumtaz ki ulfat ab tak,
Jaake dekho tajmahal ko aye doston,
Patharse tapakti hai mohabbat ab tak...


3.
Deri hi sahi par duri to nahi,
Intezar bhala par judai to nahi,
Milna bichhadna to kismat hai apni,
Aakhir insaan hai hum farishthe to nahi

4.
Jub Khamosh Aankho Se Baat Hoti Hai
Aise Hi Mohabbat Ki Suruwat Hoti Hai
Tumhare Hi Khayalo Mein Khoye Rehte Hain
Pata Nahi Kab Din Kab Raat Hoti Hai

Are we friends or Are we not

1.
Are we friends or Are we not?..
You told me once, but i forgot..
So tell me 'now' and tell me 'true'..
So i can say, i am here for you..
Of all the friends, i have ever met
"u' are the one i will never forget..
And if i die before u do..
I will go to heaven and wait for u..

2.
Friendship is not collection of hearts
But it is selection of hearts.
All friends r not true.
But true friends r very few! Like you.


3.
'FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE'
Take 1st letter from each word to get the word in which i mean a lot.


4.
Ice is a cream, love is a dream,
But our friendship is evergreen.
Dont make friend before understanding
And Dont break friendship after understanding.

God made daylight

1.
God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made entertainment n called it FUN.
God made nightlight n called it the MOON.
God made U n called CARTOON.


2.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?


3.
HAR KASHTI ka sahil nahi hota
Kimti chiz ke har koi kabil nahi hota..
Ye to tumhari kismat aachi hai varna
Tumhare jaise ladko ke paas mobile nahi hota .




4.
Arz kiya hai.

Agar aapki shakal gadhe se milti hai,
Agar aapki shakal gadhe se milti hai,
To isme gadhe ki kya galti hai.

A PERFECT FRIEND

1.
You have known me in
Good and bad times ,
You have seen me
When i was happy and when i was sad,
You have watched me laugh and cry,
Thank you for believing in me,
For supporting me ,
And for always being there ,
Thank you for being
A PERFECT FRIEND.


2.
If you ask me for how long
Will i be your friend?
Then my answer will be "i don't know".
B'coz i really don't know
Whiich is longer forever or always.

3.
There's none more perfect than a friend.
A friend whose smile and thoughtful ways,
Add happiness to everyday;
A friend who cheers and comforts me,
And i have found that kind of friend in you!


4.
Dosti,
Kaho toh do Lafz,
Mano toh Bandagi,
Socho toh Gehra Sagar,
Dubo toh Zindagi,
Karo toh Aasaan,
Nibhao toh Mushkil,
Bikhre toh Sara Zamana,
Simte toh Sirf Tum.....

Promise me

1.
Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey



2.
Whn u get dis sms send it 2 1 person u love,
1 u hate,
1 u always thnk of
& 1 u wish 2 kill..
Now keep guessin y i sent it 2 U.

Aasman hum se naaraz hai

Aasman hum se naaraz hai,
Taaren humse dushwar hai,
Woh sab humse jalte hai,
Kyunki Chaand se behtar DOST hamare paas hai...

...........................................

Aisa nahi ki aap ki yaad aati nahi,
Khata sirf itni ki hum batate nahi,
DOSTI aap ki anmol hai hamare liye,
Samjte ho aap isliye jatate nahi.

...........................................

Ishq aur dost meri zindagi ka paigam hai,
Ishq meri ruh dosti mera iman hai,
Ishq pe kardu fana me apni sari zindagi,
Magar dosti par mera ishq bhi qurban hai.

...........................................

Ye Din Yun hi Guzar jaenge,
Shayad Hum Dost yun hi Bichadh jayenge.
NARAZ Na Hona Aap Humari Shararaton Se,
Yahi to wo Pal hai,, Jo KAL YAAD AYENGE.

Love In Maths

My Dear SweetHeart,


Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.

There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.

The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.

I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set.

The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Truly Yours

Arz kiya hai

1.
Arz kiya hai.....,
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai, wah wah! Wah wah!,
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai,
Khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?, ha ha ha ha.....

2.
Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai
Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.

3.
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

4.
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
Tera chehra khila khila
Jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
To aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

shayad aa jaye koi

1.
Shaam chirago se saja rakkhi hain..
Shart logo se laga rakkhi hain,

shayad aa jaye koi humse bhi zyada pyasa,
yahi sochkar thodi si bacha rakkhi hain.......



2.
"Dil" ka dard jab panno par Aa jata hai
"Ek" Aansu b dariya ban jata hai

"Dil" k Tutne ki "Aawaz" bhi nahi aur
Sara dard "GAZAL" ban jata hai.

3.
HUM TERE DIL MEIN RAHENGE EK YAAD BANKAR
TERE LAB PAR KHILENGE EK MUSKAAN BANKAR.

KABHI APNE SE JUDA MAT SAMJHNA
HUM TERE SAATH CHALENGE AASMAN BANKAR.

4.
BADI MUDDAT SE CHAHA HAI TUJHE
BADI DUAON SE PAYA HAI TUJHE.

TUJHE BHULANE KI SOCHU BHI TO KAISE
KISMAT KI LAKIRON SE CHURAYA HAI TUJHE.

Suicide

2 Lovers plan to suicide.

Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind.

Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

..................................................

A gorgeous girl walks up 2 a a professor's cabin and says I will do anything 2 pass in the exam.
Professor: anything ! ?

Girl: ya
Prof: open your books and study.

..................................................


May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol,

And decrease sorrows like clothes of Bipasha Basu

..................................................

Teacher: (1)There is a frog, (2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then, what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs.

Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Lakh chaha

Nazar to mila shake,
Par zuban ko hila na shake,

Lakh chaha hamne,
Fir bhi ushko bhula na shake.....

................................

TUTE HUYE MEHKHANO ME JAAM NAHI AATA,
DIL KE MARIJ KO AARAM NAHI AATA,

E DIL TODKE JANE WALE? JARA YEH TO SHOCH? KI,
TUTA HUAA DIL KISHI KE KAAM NAHI AATA.......

................................

Pyaar kya hota hai hum nahi jaante,
Zindagi ko hum apni nahi maante,

Gham itne mile ki ehsaas nahi hota,
Koi hume Pyaar kare to vishwas nahi hota...
................................

Zindagi hai nadaan isliye chup hu,
Dard hi dard hai subah shaam isliye chup hu,

Keh to du zamane se dastaan apni,
Lekin usme ayega tera naam isliye chup hu.

Kaisa lag raha hai

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!
.....................................

Suno gaur se pepsi walo,
Buri nazar na coke pe dalo,
Chahe jitna dew pila lo,
Sabse aage hoga NIMBU PANI!!
Hai na hum pure hindustani...
.....................................

Namo-namo patni maharani, tumhri mahima koi na jani.
Hamne samjha tum abla ho, par tumto sabse badi bala ho.
Jis din haath me Belan aawe, Us din PATNI khub chillave.
Sare bed pe PATNI sove, Pati baith farsh par rove.
Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASHI, aur tumshe ghar Satyanashi.
Patni Chalisha jo nar gave, sab such chhod param dukh paave

Which part

Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab.

Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar

..................................................

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****)."
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

..................................................

Ek pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar le gaye,
Sab ne kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat jana behan ko bachane.
Pathan 2 kilo mithayi le gaya. P

..................................................

Neighbour to sardar: " Raat nu teri khirki khuli si, I enjoyed full scene u did with bhabhi".
Sardar: "Ban gaya na pagal, main to raat ghar par tha he nahi".

Farirayad

Unhey To Fursat Nai Milne Ki Humse,
Aur Hamara Waqt Gujarta Hai Unki Farirayad Karke..

Agar Aye 'Woh' Meri Maut Pe,
To Keh Dena Abhi Soye Hain Tumhe Yaad Karke….

....................................................

Todne k liye vada kiya nahi jata,
soch samaj k pyar kiya nahi jata,

e dost ! pyar ho ya dost ho,
sachcha ho to uske bina 1 pal bhi jiya nahi jata.

....................................................

Ruthne ka haq aap rakhte hai
manane ki chahat hum rakhte hai,

aapke hoton pe muskurahat yu hi bani rahe
yehi dua rab se hum roz karte hai

....................................................
Aaj nahi to kal dosti pe aitbar hoga..
Pathar k dil ko bhi mom se pyr hoga..

Ja mere SMS mere dost se mil..
Unko mere msg ka intezar hoga..

....................................................

Molvi

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..?

Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha "Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye"

..................................


Girl Friend ke saath,
Kamre ke andhar,
Table ke upar,
Batti ke neeche,
De tacatac……….tacatac….
De tacatac……….tacatac….

Stupid I am playing table tennis

..................................
Bhikari: saab ek rupiya de do.

Saab: tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte?

Bhikari: abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?

..................................

Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez hoti hai.

Maa se ho to - MAMTA.
Baap se ho to - KARTAVYA.
Bhai se ho to - DHARM.
Behn se ho to - FARZ.
Aur Biwi se ho to
.
.
Sonu
Monu
Chhotu
Pappu...